Sunday, 5 October 2008

20 Weeks!

I'm now 20 weeks and celebratory mood! Hurrah! Properly pregnant now! I would say half way, but who knows when Pea will pop out. I'm not at all sure he'll be here before 42 weeks, if that :-) Plus, I wasn't at all pregnant for the first two weeks of those 20. Basically, I don't want to get too excited about being half way, because there is a long old way to go yet! So glad I don't have to do a first trimester with this baby again though. That part was really not so fun.

Pea is now a real wiggle-worm. Last night was the first time we both were able to feel him kick from the outside. That was really amazing, there's actually a baby in there :-) With sharp little feet! He was doing more kick practice this afternoon too. I think he's gearing up for our big scan tomorrow.

I can't believe the big scan is tomorrow! I'm trying not to get too tooo excited in case Pea is of a modest persuasion and does not wish to spread his legs. I'm not too worked up about 'seeing' him again - it will be super-lovely, but as we might well decline all scans with our other babies, I don't think scans should be the high point of pregnancy really.

It is amazing though that tomorrow we might well know if our family is going to start with a son or daughter! Yeeps!

Ooh, I almost forgot! I weighed myself and I've put on exactly a stone so far this pregnancy - I've gone from 9st dead to 10st dead. How very neat of me!

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

17 weeks 2 days

I can feel my little wiggle worm bumpling about! I like him :-)

Sunday, 7 September 2008

16 weeks

I suppose I ought to update here! What a lax blogger am I. I thought I'd be fascinated by every detail of my pregnancy but I'm, um, not! I think I like it just washing over me!

I've gone spotty this past week, which I think is worth recording for next time. I also had a little bleeding at 14 weeks - I call it bleeding, just brown squidge really. It didn't last long, and a bit of diary-bashing revealed it was my period anniversary, so I've put it down to that.

I have a proper bump now! People even want to feel it, which is strange but OK I think! It's all been women I know, so it's fine. I do not want strange men rubbing my tummy!

I'll put scan pics up this entry too - better late than never, eh. Here they are. Apparently it's quite unusual for the baby to be face down, like Pea was. The lady seemed to think we'd be unable to interpret the pictures. It's really not that hard! The white line at the top is Peazle's little spine. His head's on the left, and one the second one you can see his arms.


Resized profile

Photobucket

Emma, I think you asked why we originally declined a 12 week scan? A couple of reasons really.

First, I didn't think it was medically necessary - we know my ovulation date down to the hour (which the scan proved), and I'm not completely convinced on the safety of scans, especially in early pregnancy.

Second, we love our baby and don't care if he/she is normal. This is a choice, and quite a scary one! Recently a friend of ours had a baby with Down's Syndrome (whom, incidentally, I had a lovely time snuggling yesterday). It was at a routine 12 week dating scan that it became apparent that the baby was developing differently. At that point, my friend was told that the baby had a 50% chance of survival, and a very high chance of having a chromosomal abnormality if it did survive. After that followed 8 weeks of torment for my friend, until at 20 weeks it became apparent that the baby would probably live, but have Down's Syndrome. Throughout, the medical expectation was that our friends would choose to terminate the pregnancy. It is rare in our society for parents to choose to love and cherish an unborn baby with a disability. We felt that if Pea was going to die, we'd much rather not know, and cope with his death rather than have to cope with any amount of worry and concern AND his death. And, if Pea is going to live, we love him. As I said, this is a scary choice as it might mean having a child with disabilities so severe that he is forever constantly dependent. Most likely, it just means commiting to loving a 'normal' healthy child. In short, we declined the scan because we felt there was no emotional or medical advantage to seeing our baby on screen whilst he is scrutinised. We'll decline dating scans with future children for the same reasons. We don't believe anything about our baby is a mistake, or outside of God's plan for our family.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

13w 4d

Well, Pea is one baby! I'm really chuffed...homebirth, more breast than babies, being able to use the xplory and make do with our car! I don't think I have any pang at all at losing the twin dream - a scan is such a nice way to find out as who could be disappointed whilst looking at their tiny new baby on the screen?

The scan was great - I think we'll still decline a dating scan with future pregnancies, but it was lots of fun. I immediately explained to the sonographer that we'd originally declined, and why, which meant that she understood where we were coming from. She was a Christian too, which was particularly lovely. She made it apparent that there was one baby from the start - last week she began a straightforward dating scan to find three babies inside! Apparently their mother was shocked to say the least!

Pea measures perfectly on my dates - not sure if they'll change my official due date as they are only two days different, and I like the two days buffer before induction talk starts!

Michael's just scanning the pictures. I feel very protective of them...our tiny grey blob is very precious, and I'm not keen on other people thinking he just looks like a tiny grey blob! It was brill to see him wiggling and waving his little arms. It still seems very bizarre that there's actually a baby in there!

Monday, 18 August 2008

Scan Thursday!

Just a quick entry to say that the scan appointment has come through for this Thursday! I'm all of a flutter...I don't like uncertainty at all, but I'm not entirely sure if certainty is better. Twin certainty seems rather alarming, particularly. I'm rather enjoying my twin fantasies though - if it's a singleton, I shall have to get back down to earth. Mind, I can start thinking happy homebirth and babywearing thoughts once again!

Sunday, 17 August 2008

Thursday, 14 August 2008

12 weeks 4 days

Well, I saw the midwife today as promised. All well with me, lovely rich red blood, nice clean wee, and beautiful blood pressure.

We heard Pea's little heart beating away...he really is in there! She found it straight away, after the customary do not panic if I don't find it straight away/at all talk. Michael was thrilled, and had the presence of mind to record the sound on his phone. Pea sounds like a little steam train going through a tunnel.

The fun part is that she felt my uterus was much more like a 14 or 15 week uterus. Can you see where this is going?! She assumed my dates were just a few weeks out, but I could assure her that they're not! I watched my tests go from BFN at 7 DPO, through pale second lines to a digital positive at 10 DPO. Plus I know my temps and my body! So, either Pea is a big baby enjoying much personal space in a super deluxe giant amniotic sac, or he's two Peas! TWO Peas! Possibly twins people! My golly gosh!

Given this, we agreed to book in for a scan in the next couple of weeks. If I have a license to eat for three, I need to know! The midwife didn't seem to imply that the extra growth could be down to anything sinister, so I'm just excited. I know there's a healthy baby in there - and possibly its brother or sister has come along for the ride! :-)

I'm actually very reassured that I'm measuring big. I certainly feel that I look far more bumpy than anyone 12 weeks pregnant should. I love it really...I've waited a long while for this bump!

Thursday, 7 August 2008

11 weeks 4 days

Yikes! I'm getting really pregnant! And updating, because Alice told me to :-)

I'm feeling lots better - week 10 was something of a watershed for me. The sickness is much more morning sickness and hunger sickness than all day, which is a relief. I'm still feeling a bit grotty, but lots better. Pea has been behaving beautifully, no cause for concern anywhere. I had some awful period style pains today, but think it might be my uterus protesting at my normal jeans! I've got quite a bump now, although I felt rather hurt today as my friend at work described it as being 'all food'! There's a baby the size of a lime in there somewhere, so I can't think it's all food! I think I'm going to need to graduate to maternity jeans soon as I'm very fed up of having tummy ache from baby compression.

The baby now has a buggy - a Stokke Xplory, the buggy we chose many months ago! It's enormous and very imposing, but means Pea can face me at chatting height until he's a confident walker. It was an ebay "bargain", still very expensive! We have money for Pea's things based on some money left to me when my Gran died last year...otherwise we'd really struggle.

I'm convinced Pea is a boy. He just feels like a boyish tenant! My Dad had a dream about a little boy too. We now have a frontrunner boy's name (which I love!), so I'm rather excited! We hope to find out for certain at my 20 week scan (on the 6th of October...squeak!). We're seeing the midwife on Thursday (a week today) to hopefully hear Pea's heart, which is rather exciting. We can also then TELL PEOPLE!!! Hoo-jolly-ray! Part of me wishes I had a doppler (and thank you for your kind offer, Ali), but most of me thinks that I'd either get a bit obsessed or panicky if I couldn't find the baby's heart, and I'm seeking to avoid that kind of intervention as much as possible. I just want to trust Jesus and Pea to sort it out between them, and I'll keep on providing the womb.

I had new baby squidges with my friend's baby yesterday :-) I'm so glad I'm growing one of my own!

Monday, 21 July 2008

9 weeks 1 day

Yay! Readers! Thank you girls! Although now I feel under pressure to say something interesting. Crumbs.

Well, I'm over nine weeks now. Time does pass. A friend asked if I was having a nice pregnancy the other day, and it took me by surprise. I think the honest answer is that it's OK. I don't love being pregnant yet, much as I love Pea. I don't find feeling sick a lot of the time nice, though I'm getting throughly used to it, which helps. It never occurred to me how uncomfortable the whole thing would be - not just the sickness, but aches and cramps and weird feelings inside. Feeling too full, which I suppose I am. I hope that gets better once my uterus pops out! I don't mind being tired at all, probably mostly due to having a lovely husband who does much more than his fair share and lets me go to bed at 9. I also love to sleep, so an excuse to nap is nice! I think what will be great is being able to TELL people. A fair few know already, but so many don't, and I have to pretend that actually I'm really fulfilled working in a shop and am not interested in a career at all. Which isn't true - I've found a new career, and I can deal with staying at the shop until my start date in February. After which, the 9-5ness of the shop will probably seem a whole lot more appealing!

It's interesting how much excitement about things in life is generated by others. I think Pea will seem a lot more real once all our friends are excited too. We think we're going to put off telling people until we've heard the baby's heart beating. I'm not actually sure when that will be - I'll see what the midwife thinks on Thursday.

Sunday, 13 July 2008

8 weeks, and home from holiday

Eight weeks - how satisfying does that sound? And somewhere, deep inside, my baby is starting to look like a baby and not like a fish. Hooray! I had a scare yesterday, with an absolutely tiny amount of ever-so-slightly brownish-pink stained discharge (sorry for the detail!). All gone now though, symptoms as fun as ever and cervix absolutely clamped shut, so I think all is OK yet. I'm also DETERMINED not to give in to a spirit of fear over this pregnancy.

I'm not sure if I like this Blogger business yet. It feels so much less friendly than diaryland. But it's easy to use and reliable. Diaryland is such a relatively small community though...and I've been there since the days when an online diary was a really weird idea. I'm lost amongst all these great and good blogs!

Maybe I will link from Diaryland, and see if I get some readers. Readers definitely help!

Feeling odd today as transitioning home from holiday. I love both home and holiday, but the middle bit is rather peculiar.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Six weeks three days

Hurrah, six weeks three days! I like these passing weeks that bring me closer to my baby and further from miscarriage statistics. I must say that Little Pea seems quite happy in there so I have no cause to worry.

Symptoms have changed a lot over the last two and a half weeks. Initially, I was very hungry and very tired, with exciting cravings (marmite, mackerel, guacamole...). It was great, just like being a man! I've never had a real love of food, so it was quite a revelation to me to sit thinking dreamily of what I could eat next.

Last week (sixth week...as in being 5 weeks x days pregnant), things got a little more complex, and this, my seventh week, has been all-out nausea. It came on pretty much exactly at 6 weeks, down to lunchtime - the four week anniversary of my ovulation. I feel ROUGH!! Constantly sicky, sort of based in my mouth throat (gaggy I suppose, but with extra sickiness). I have discovered a whole new world of really vile smells. I don't think the work smell helps either! I was actually sick today, only a little, but hope this is not the shape of things to come.

Food is a problem, I keep eating but do not fancy what I'm eating much! The thought of tastes really turn my stomach. I'm also weeing at least once nightly, and last night went to bed at 8pm.

I really don't mind though. It's such an honour to be pregnant, and I love my tiny companion! Symptoms are so reassuring too. I had my first doctor's appointment this week, and merrily declined my 12 week scan - a liberating experience! The doctor makes my "due" date 2 days later than I do, which is fine by me. The more cooking time Pea gets, the better.

Saturday, 14 June 2008

First Pea!

A new era - a new blog. Maybe I'll even keep this one up! It's been an exciting week for our family, my 26th birthday on Tuesday and the news that our first little Pea is on his/her way.

We're over the moon...it has been a long wait! Not for Pea to come - I'm still amazed that we conceived the first cycle we tried - but for the time to be right. We both feel a real family calling and are so exciting to be welcoming a new member to our little gang!

We're well aware that it's early days yet - Pea was conceived less than a fortnight ago. Things are looking good though - high temperatures, plenty of symptoms, only the faintest of pink spotting. We hope our baby is here to stay, and have no fear in planning as if this is the case. If the baby dies, it dies, but we don't want to pretend it never lived. We have faith for our little one to be around for many, many years yet.

I suspected Pea was in evidence on Tuesday - my birthday - the first time I've ever seen anything non-imaginary on a pregnancy test during the time limit. So faint though, and Michael seems to think that internet cheapy tests make up pregnancies just for the fun of it. The line got darker and darker as the days went by, and on Friday I finally cracked out a digital test to prove my doubting beloved wrong!

It was very good to have proof, because if I wasn't pregnant then I was not sure what could be wrong with me! Nauseous, pathetically weak, sleepy, no pmt, weird bitter taste in my mouth and amazing x-ray style sense of smell. Oh and incredibly sore breasts - a kind of electric, lime green soreness. This is useful, as if I become anxious that little Pea has somehow dropped out without me noticing, a short, sharp nipple prod is all it takes to assure me that she is still very much in evidence!

Food is interesting...my meals aren't much bigger, but I feel the need for a lot of small snacks. Savoury too - sweet has lost a lot of its appeal. Are savoury 'cravings' meant to mean boy? I can't remember. I've refrained from slugs, snails and puppy dog's tails though. Give that little Pea consists of three layers of cells at the moment, I suppose musing on his/her gender is a little premature.

It's lovely how excited other people are. My mum was a little shocked, to say the least, but the reaction is entirely positive. Babies are the best news there is! Most of our real-life friends won't be told for some time, so having online people to share the excitement with is really lovely. I had a trip to Mothercare this morning, just because I have a valid reason to now, and it was great to feel bump solidarity rather than bump envy. Not that I have a bump, but I am pregnant, and free to plan for my baby! Other than the bumps, and spying on a lady with an Xplory, the visit was fairly dull as I'm not really a Mothercare kind of girl. I did get rather soggy over the sleepsuits though. My own sleepsuit-wearer! We are blessed indeed.